I love U!!!

This is a post written by a drunk nut!
A drunk nut under the consumption of 2 big glasses of 40% ALCHOHOL..
I thk it would be Henessy ...erm.. or Mar.....
yea.. it's Henessy

"Love me hate me say, what you want about me,
all of the boy s and all of the girls are begging to F.U.C.K me"
a song by britney spears.
It's a perfect time to listen to her songs..
Cz I this is the only time I can truely enjoy her songS.

Yea, if any hot guy now infront of me, I would juzz raped him..
wahahahaha....
I've been single for so long... and I juz want someone's chest to lead on when I'm down.. and most important is that he love me and sayang me..
Unlike now.. feel such lonely and helpless..

I never know that typing iis such a hard task..
I can't type as fluent as usual.. why?
Am I such drunk?

Np..no.. ii okie.. U can still hear my mom called me to close the tap..
N I did went there and closed it..
Maybe I'm juz abit tipsy...
I can still blog weh!!! hahaha..

Wanted to blog since few days ago..
but den I really dun have the rite mood for it..
When I was happy like ytday, I wanted to post somethg moody here..can't make it at last..
While when I was moody, I wanted to post somethg cheerful in the other blog so that I would not keep thinking of the moodiness..but cannot finish also.. wat a loser..

However, I like now..
Coz I can treat my mom better..
I did not yell at her juz now..
no no .. haha I did not... after such a bad day I had..
I'm a good girl U noe.. I told her NOT to wrap her waists with THIS SHIT coz is not good for her bone.. I really told her in a very polite way..
But did she realised that I'm under alcohol?
Dun care!
and as usual, she refused to listen to me.. haha.. I shud have known it!

She went out today.. wanted to buy this stupid shit to rap her waists..
The massage sin-se already told her that she shouldn't do this but she just don listen..
Bravo, my mom now she's a doctor..
Everythg she says.. she's rite.... everybody else WRONG!!

Uncle and Sis came juz now to talk to her..
tell her that she cannot do this cannot do that..
ofcz she din't listen wat they suggested..
N I was there inside of the room sobbing to Daniel thru the phone..
So sorry my dear if I made U feel bad..
Sorry..
I dunnoe why I juz like to tell thgs to U..
Coz u are so far away...
U won't discriminate me like other might do..
I feel save to talk to u.
TQ~

Owh... two mad women in a same house..
fight and fight every day!

But I tell u.. I LOVE HER!!..
strangely.. our love are in different forms..

We don't talk to each other..
But she cares bout me..
She sends me to sch/ college early in the morning..
even I always wake up late and didn't finish her breakfast.
She cares whether I've eaten my meal coz she don wan me to have gastric like her...
She cares what I wear.. coz she dont want me to be raped by the crocodiles outside...

But why.. why I treat her so badly..
I'm hot tempered..
I'm messy..
I'm disobedient..
I'm a bad girl .. nothg to consider as good!!!

I'm sorry mom..
sorry..
I noe..
This is a punnishment from God..

I dunnoe who is my God..
But I know there is a god...
I believe in Karma..
Wat U've done willl return to U...

Maybe is how we lived together...
I dun talk to U, U dun talk to me and..
We gone mad..

But..
I love u mummy!!
I love your cookings... I love U taking me out on Mondays..
I love U teaching me how to make tanglongs,..
I love U!!!

BUT can u listen to me now???

This was what I told Dans....

I wanted to cut myself but I couldn't...coz I scared it will leave ugly scares...
I wanted to bang my head..bang all te moodyness out.. bt I scared.. I scared I'll be dumb..
I wanted to juz get a tatoo.. but I noe.. I noe I'll regret..
I wanted to get liqours.. wat to go clubbing.. with loud musics.. loud beats... hot guys.. But I can't.. coz I have to stay by urside..
I wanted to run out of house, far away frm home.. but I can't..coz I noe u'll lonely...
I wanted to fuck everyone! but i dun have the ability to...

So what should I do?
I eat chili padies.. to numb myself frm wat I'm feeling..
to let myself noe that there's smthg out there that can feel worst...


I want to smoke..
but i've promised myself that I cannot smoke..
I want to be a SWEETHEART.
I want to have a good family next time..
I dun want my children to feel like what I'm feeling now...
I WANT A HAPPY FAMILY!!!

again... what I've posted in last week's

God...

Pls dry my tears
& take away my sorrows.

Send an ANGEL to hold my hands
& pull me out of this deep ground..

。。。。。。。。。F U C K 。。。。。。。。。
!!!!!!!

God...

Pls dry my tears
& take away my sorrows.

Send an ANGEL to hold my hands
& pull me out of this deep ground..

The bitches and son of bitches!

Sometimes I wake up feeling that
this world is filled with bitches and son of bitches.
Nothing much.
Iz juz a phrase to express my feelings.
I would not want to offend anyone.
Even me myself's a bitch.

I'm actly quite worried of my groups' projects.
Any other groups are filled with smart ppl;
people who scored numerous As in exams,
ppl who have overflow of ideas
and ppl who have good leadership skills.

Not that I'm discriminating my group mates,
juz that it's bloody obvious that the other groups' members are way much better than our's.
They have at least 2 scorers in each groups..
Some times I'm wondering..
Is the lecturer wants to create a gap of difference between the quality of our work,
so that she can GRADE us EASILY?

Are we doomed to lose/fail?
Are them destined to excel?

NO NO!!
I don't want to be like that!
I want be winner!
I want to score this sem!
I want a change!
I want my college life to be my eternal happiness,
a memory that will not fade,
... a memory of success!

Ofcoz..
with my current attitude,
I will not make it..

I need to change!
CHANGE FOR A BETTER ME!
CHANGE FOR A BETTER FUTURE!
CHANGE TO PURSUE HAPPINESS!