A biatch I am

She says that I’m a bitch who always wear low cut wear, shorts and flirting around to seduce guys? I’m a bitch where get obsessive with guys? I’m a bitch that will catch her fucking Mun’s attention? I’m a bitch that touches her BF in purposely when taking picture?

This reminds me of what I think of Pauline when I 1^st met her. I know, is quite irritating.

What a cultural difference weh!?! 乡下妹，出城吧！

Her attitude today is totally out. It cuts me deeply.

Where is my home? Where? I have to look at people’s 脸色 wherever I go, even at the place so called home.

I’ve been trying to hide, trying to avoid myself from conflicts, yet I’m still got myself into trouble.

Today is the 8^th day of CNY, and everyone is celebrating, while I’m alone at home crying. I wish there’re somebody home, but I glad that they were not home, what a confuse case.

Because there’s no one, I can cry out loudly in the room and bathe for as long as I could without considering the complains that I’ll get. But because there’s no one, I feel such lonesome and unsafe.

The fought I had with her, affected me deeply. I’ve been giving her ways, too much. Every time I have to try avoid her sarcasm, dominance, 无理取闹, her un-measurable mood swing, her hurtful speech, her irrational, her 无情、不理会别人感受、觉得自己是对的、和我就是这样的拉的性格。 Always been thinking too much and do not trust people. Thinking that everyone is trying to take advantage on her, especially me. She once warn me, do not think that because her dad borrowed money from my mom, so that now I can depend on them and thinking that is time for them to pay back by taking care of me. What the heck? I have no family love, so is that wrong to stick to your family, where I can at least feel that I’m appreciated?

However, the only family that I can feel safe on, had all ruined. This make me realize, nothing is more important than own family. No matter how close are you with a family, yet, you still an outsider. AN OUTSIDER THAT NOT SUPPOSED TO BELONG HERE.

I’ve been giving her ways, but this time is too ridiculous that I can hardly forgive. I can’t stand anymore. Since she say that I’m a bitch, I’ll be as bitchy as I could towards her, and enjoy the moments she get mad. But, this will spoil my reputation.

Say sorry as Jason told: Apologizing doesn’t need to the one who are wrong. The person who apologise is the one who wants to make the situation better.

But I’ve been playing that character too long. If this time I play that character again, she will definitely think that I’m wrong. Because, I’m sure that she do not understand this theory.

So must as well I don’t do anything, not even talking to her.

She hurt me too much, there are cuts all these whiles that haven’t closed, and I choose to ignore it like what I have on my hands every now and then. But this time, is too deep and big patch that I cannot over look. Unless she does something to cure my deep cut, otherwise, it will leave an eternal scar.